The Platinum Rule? Better Than Gold!

We all know the Golden Rule: (I hope)
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you... (married? see previous tree blog)

Do you know the Platinum Rule?

1. "Treat others in the way they like to be treated."
2. or do unto your spouse as s/he would have you do unto her/him.

..... as for me and my house, definitely a work in progress  : | 


Make it great today, and every day.

BP

How Not to Prune a Tree of Eternal Life

Funny, but it's not one of things we often think of... but that doesn't make it any less true.

From the first couple on earth, Adam and Eve had a Tree of Life in their yard. John Beaman recently said, that when a couple gets married, a Tree of Life is planted by the Savior in their front yard. Any spouse (during any kind of sane moment) would never want to cut down a Tree of such great worth. Yet, at some point we all (all who want to know and some who don't) will learn that if we cut down our spouse, we are cutting down our own Tree. When we poison the roots we are harming ourselves and when we break off communication we are removing branches of precious fruit that we otherwise would be able to enjoy on a Tree of Greatest Worth.

A high school friend named Ryan said, "When we learn to see others as extensions of ourselves, the act of giving becomes the act of receiving."

Together these are a few powerful principles to apply in our marriages. Sharing eternal life and getting back what we give. What would our lives be like if we got back everything we gave away?

How abundant would your life be?

How strong would your relationships be?

(Ethiopia may be closer than I think, if that were to be true)

May we all find ways to give more selfless and sincere gifts of value to others more often, even every day.

Make it great today, and every day.

BP

The 12 Greatest Entreprenuers

From Jim Ritchie:

My Friends,

 Fortune Magazine wrote a piece about "THE TWELVE GREATEST ENTREPRENEURS OF OUR TIME and what we can learn from them" .

 As I read their stories it stirred my memory - and my soul - of the 'olden' days when I easily  got 'excited'  over an idea or a piece of dirt or a vacant building  or a half built trailer park or  an ad in the newspaper  or a barter opportunity or stories of a gold rush in Montana...just to recall some exciting 'adventure' incubators of the past.   Many ideas, whether great, mediocre or bust, were generated by reading Success Unlimited, a weekly magazine of yesteryear where the brightest and best, up and coming superstars revealed their most intimate ideas of success and how they had turned their IDEAS TO GOLD DUST...and especially exciting were the stories where their first success had given them the confidence and enthusiasm for their next RISK and their NEXT...and how once it got into the blood stream, entrepreneurship can turn a spark into a raging wild fire. 

 Reading the twelve stores in Fortune Magazine revealed each Entrepreneurs inner drive - the FORCE, if you will - that motivated each of them...it was seldom about money...money was always an outcome - a by product of THE DEAL.  THE DEAL was always the DRIVER. The IDEA!  It always began with an IDEA.  But everyone has Ideas.  But the difference between these twelve (and all successful entrepreneurs)  and most other human beings  is that most IDEAS come to DREAMERS and not DOERS! 

 We used to share at the Great Idea Conference at BYU-Hawaii that Ideas were a dime a dozen and we would give the winners an ice cream cone for THINKING up an idea.  Then, in the Spring during the EMPOWER YOUR DREAMS competition when their Ideas had moved from a mental thought to a written 'doable' vision, the prize or awards also moved from Ice Cream to the big money.  That's the way the world works...the Doers, not the Dreamers,  get the big bucks and  usually the best looking girls.  

 #1: Steve Jobs, naturally, was top of their list: He created Apple with over $100 Billion in sales, 63,000 employees and a market value of over $500,000,000,000 (yes, that's a "B" or even more scary...that's a half a Trillion with a "T").   Asked about how much research was done to guide Apple, he said, "None.  It isn't the consumers' job to know what they want...". Instead it was his own intuition,  None of Apple's blockbuster products would have come about if Jobs had relied heavily on consumer research.   Very strange personality - and dead at 56 - but certainly a THINKER and a DOER and a well deserving candidate for 1st place in the list of Entrepreneurism.

 Nuff for tonight... I have to shut down my Apple, read a book on my iPad and check my Text messages on my iPhone before I go to bed...sure glad Steve Jobs never got any of my money...ha...  I'll share #2 and others when cyberspace is not so busy and after you have had more time to digest the differences between how Jobs was successful and  in the same market place most of us struggle to get 'launched'.  WE need to learn from others...get ready for more ideas.

 Gotta Run, I can feel an idea about to burst forth...

 bro JIm

Two Paths

In every life each of us has at least one mountain to climb.

Around the bottom up to the top are at least 2 paths that we can choose. One is a gentle winding pathway never steep, often sandy and wide. It is an invitation to slow down, relax, get comfortable, not push ourselves too hard. It is a siren song to be ignored, a temptation to stray from our deeper desires to reach the pinnacle that summons us up and makes us stronger, shows us who we really are.

A second path is a narrow and steeper climb. It is wrought with rocks. It calls to all who prepare with living water and commit to diligent training. When we choose these paths and while more narrow and steeper to climb, they move us closer to our ultimate goal for our lives.

The illusion of the gentle path is that we can do it alone, with noone's help but those we choose. The fact of the steeper climb is that we have to have others help to make it, and we must help others too. For before the journey's through and we come off conquerer, first having placed our desires to be comfortable into perspective, we will then know that many hands lifted us on our journey and we have earned a place at the top with those who also struggled and sought to find the way.

Some individuals will reach the peak quickly and move on. Others of the noble birthright will wait just to help those of us less capable along. Most of us will wander and struggle, stop and wonder. But in the end through God's grace alone, we will all know that we can be made equal to the challenge and climbs before us. But only after believing in and trusting in other's hands, God's hands. That He will lift, lead and guide us to His Throne, to His Home.

Having Cake and Eating It Too...

How many times have we heard "I hate [fill in the blank]". And then almost while the words are still in the bubble above, the same action is taken again to promote more of that same negative feeling?

We are such an entertainment driven, overly comfortable society in many ways. We are grateful to have such an abundance - and yet could it be that we want the comfort, but are going to sleep or are not willing to do the work, fight the good fight, diligently learn... to sustain it?

So often I hear the victim's cry of look at what she did to me... instead of I am so sorry that I treated her that way and I will go and make amends and ask if she will forgive me.

Ownership of the cake let's us eat it too. Blame and whining about the eating the cake prevents us from being able to own it and enjoy eating it.

The second great temptation of the Savior by Satan was turn the bread to stone. It was something like, have some cake and eat it too - DON'T:  buy the seed, til the soil, plant the seed, pull the weeds, water the garden, harvest the wheat, separate the chaff and grain, grind the grain, make and bake the bread, break the bread and eat it. Abuse your power and privilige and get what you want when you want it without price.

Like so many before us who gave us an inheritance of freedom and luxury, may we earn the right to eat our cake and savor it remembering today that we can go buy the flour (or the bread) - because of the hands that provided it. 

Bryan
i2i2blog@gmail.com

The Savior in Gethsemane

Ctrl + click here = http://bcove.me/kr2qbox5





or here = http://www.lds.org/?lang=eng

I Can See It. I Can Almost Reach the Shore...

There is a story of a man who was warned about swimming in a nearby river. It's undertows and flow were strong and dangerous. He was warned that it was better to walk or go the extra distance to the lake where it was safer to swim.

One particularly hot day as the man walked towards the lake, as he had done so many times before, he noticed the river bank was gentle and inviting. So, he left the path and walked down the soft sandy slope. His feet were hot and what could it hurt to dip his hot tired feet into the cool water? He remembered the warning and then curiousity and the gentle rush of excitement soon found him shoeless standing on the edge. This isn't so bad he thought. Why all the fuss and worry. This is so much closer and better than going all the way to the lake.

Days passed and soon he found himself excitedly up to his knees splashing water on his face and reveling in his new discovery and pleasure.

A little more time passed and soon he was sitting up to his neck at the water's edge. He thought, I am a strong swimmer and am curious to see if I can match this water with my skills. Carefully and anxiously he prepared, but he could not imagine the excitement that came as he plunged into the water near the shore and began to swim. From time to time to he would reach out his hand to touch the sandy embankment. And to his horror he found that everytime he reached out to touch it, the current pulled him a little closer away from the embankment. Excitedly he swam harder and reached farther only to be pulled and move a little further away. Before long his cries for help and fatigue found him in the middle of the river being pulled down stream against his will. His strength and efforts against the undertow were in vain. Panic filled his body with adrenaline as plunged under the water and was tossed about. He deeply regretted ever stopping to look, then straying from the path to the lake and "just" putting his feet in the water that was now consuming him to the point of taking his life.

At the point of despair, and with one final cry an arm reached out from a rocky embankment and pulled him to safety. He looked up and saw his Brother standing there.

In the future, the man enjoyed walking the path to the lake more than ever before... shoes on his feet, his feet on the path, safely traveling on and the lake never felt so secure.

The Strength Within

I recently spoke with a friend who has run an ultra ultra marathon - 100 miles in less than 24 hours. He explained that when he runs he has reached points where he isn't feeling strong anymore, he's tired, his muscles burn, his body and his thoughts simultaneously scream it's time to stop. And he could stop and feel good about the pace run and distance covered as he has already pushed himself hard today. But he hasn't reached his goal yet. So he pushes on, he refuses to let his mind and body dictate when he is going to stop.

And then something amazing happens as he forces his spiritual will against his natural self. His "reserve" kicks in and he moves forward while his pain subsides - he pushes on strong again and reaches his destination. He said,

"I have come to know that there is a reserve within us. Our bodies hold a power that we won't tap into until we are taxed to our first or second limit and hear it is too hard to proceed. Yet, when we push through and commit to moving forward we find an oft hidden and untapped power and we succeed."

We all have strengths. We all have problems. We all bring some issue(s) from our past that sleeps until an event provides a chance to wake up. Unbelievable performance or sleeping tyrants surprise us from time to time. But it's really not the problems that are our problems. It's believing in and then finding the strength within to keep moving forward.

Instead of giving more effort to learn and serve others sometimes we want to quit or we get discouraged. The winds of opposition invite us to sit. The closer we get to finishing something good, the more they echo around us and sometimes, sometimes we listen; instead of lifting our heads up and persisting through the storm to the other side of calm faster.

When we are looking for an answer, through the Grace of a Kind Father in Heaven it comes in spite of our perceived shortcomings. And sometimes answers wait until we get our work done first, or just stop and listen.

There is more to us than we know: Indominable Spirit. Resiliant Soul. Powerful Light Within. Children of a Divine Parents. Heirs to a throne. You. And me.

The strength to succeed is within us all. How deep is our reserve? How far will we be pushed sometimes? Even Moses learned, after his arms dropped and his people started to lose the war and die, that he needed help holding up his staff so the Israelites could win against their foes.

My wife put on a DVD where Oprah Winfrey was speaking sitting on a plush couch, beautifully dressed in a palatial home. She had interviewed three women in prison who had killed their young children. As she left the interview, they declared, you probably hate us dont you. Oprah said something like, I don't hate them for what they did. They had problems. I had problems (equal to their abuses). They chose to deal with their problems their way. I choose to deal with my problems different than they did. May we all see the other choice, the alternative, the higher road that becons us, if we will raise our heads and look up instead of down when things get challenging and flat out difficult to go on!

Indeed. "The problem" isn't an excuse or in most cases a reason to become less than the Spirit prompts us to be through our conscience and feelings and others. We were born to succeed. Each person on earth is given a special set of weaknesses that we might learn to find our strength within, paradoxically by relying on God's power. We are His offspring. A well of Power resides within us if we choose not only to endure long enough, but seek to learn and improve then we really tap into it who we are, who we are called to be.

How often has a temptation haunted you, patiently, diligently stalked you, day in and day out? It will not persist forever with the same force and influence if we resist and turn our focus to getting outisde of ourselves, learning, serving and doing our work. Work cures a myriad of ills and woes. Service takes care of the rest.

The Strength Within is in you. It's real. It will grow with you. It's available on demand. It's yours to use as you want, need and have to.

May we find the strength to look up instead of down and then rise once more and finish the work that is ours to do. That we use our problems to empathize and strengthen others who may need your strength within.


Bryan
i2i2blog@gmail.com

Heavenly Father's Nature - Axe Wielding Judge? NOPE. I don't think so...

(image from Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

While the picture above makes me laugh, ("of course it's a good idea") What a gift it is to have access to learn about and the ability to gain a clear understanding (as far as a semi-delinquent adult can have) of what the nature of Heavenly Father really is.

First - let me be clear, I like the word God to describe our Father in Heaven for the same reason others like to say Cmas instead of Christmas. But to be honest, it's just me being lazy and actually somewhat disrespectful. Especially when X replaces C. Shortening Heavenly Father's name is also a great way to forget His role in our lives - and our role and place in His existence. Talk about an overused, incorrectly used, disrespectfully used name according to Moses, OMG and all affiliated options are not going to work out in the long run for anyone.

"Heavenly Father" has a great ring to it. It encourages thoughts of Divine heir, noble birthright, son/daughter of a God, He is Perfect in every way, Perfectly capable, willing and interested in guiding me to live with Him again. Helps us believe and want to improve. Does it get better than that? No. Not that I am aware of.

Recently a surprising number of people have been complaining about how God gave them "this challenge" and that problem and how He burdened us wth X, Y or Z. I am here to ask one good question, Really?

Did Heavenly Father really do that to you? As part of the evil parent club (Matt 7:9-11) who probably would on some days want to give my annoying kid a rock instead of a fish when s/he was hungry and asked for food, I can't see our Heavenly Father being that way at all. He split the loaves and fishes and fed thousands from just a little bit. Just like a little bit of Truth shared between friends goes a long way.

I am here to propose that since Heavenly Father respects my agency, my ability to choose enough to let me learn some really painful lessons in life, even as a result of others sometimes. I also realize that He lets Satan keep his ability to choose too. Heavenly Father's Son shines on all and He respects all of us enough to let us choose for ourselves and suffer or enjoy the consequences of choosing. I believe His role in our lives is much more related to adjusting and guiding and redirecting us as lost souls trying to act like we know what we are doing, than Him being an axe wielding puppet master making life difficult so we can learn some lessons He is demanding.

I believe together without God mankind can make life difficult enough to be really miserable. (misery: humility without hope). He doesn't have to help us be ignorant, choose poorly, create awful consequences, mess up His planet. Heavenly Father's lessons make Him a Master Teacher under all conditions and circumstances, IF we are willing to listen and learn.

His is also a Divine Parent role that supports, strengthens, builds and inspires. Our role in comparison is a lot like the whining baby whose toy block is just out of reach and we are upset and crying about it. We might even poo our pants to teach someone a lesson (probably us). I think our worst hellish problem in life compared to Heavenly Father's Infinite Experience and Knowledge puts our problems into the metaphor of toy blocks and babies crying about it at best. Nevertheless, His hand is stretched out still (Isaiah 9:12, 17 & 21).

Heavenly Father respects our agency/ability to choose enough to let us pay the price of our choices and the choices of others. The Savior, Jesus Christ will equalize all things by providing Perfect Justice in the end. Things will go wrong, sometimes terribly wrong (Nazi camps, African genocide, still born deaths) but He suffers when we do. That is a part of His Divine nature. His is the Perfect big picture. Our ways are not His. And His are infinitely better.

I challenge all readers to look deep inside yourself about what your beliefs are about the nature of God, Our Eternal Father in Heaven. Mine are that He loves us more than we know. Enough to send His Only Begotten Son to suffer, bleed and die for me and you. To give us a way home and a light to show us how to find it. Enough to let us talk about Him ignorantly, even negatively, and still Love us and want us to come home to live with Him and our eternal families again. It's clear to me that I can't make God's plan fail. I clearly need Him a lot more than He needs me.

For that knowledge and witness I am grateful. Because frankly there are too many hell preaching damnation speaking leaders (that are like unmarried marriage counselors). This is a life of hope, a life of opportunity, a life of learning, a life to serve, give and grow in. Let's start today and show a greater gratitude every day. Let's show more respect and appreciation for the Almighty God, Our Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace and increase it as we become clear on His love and nature and our lives in His plan according to that Truth. We were born to succeed, together... it's not good to be alone.

Make it great today, as only you can do.

i2i2blog@gmail.com

Your Driving and Your Car Doors Open... I'm What?!

I'm sure that many of you may not ever face this insanity that I have gone through for a long time. But, for those who can relate, today was a breakthrough day! The repeating frustration after not understanding a long-term painful situation has finally received some healing and soothing ointment (on a horrible burn) due to a sincere prayer and a kind Father in Heaven who answered it. 

Over the past 20 years, there have been thousands of conflicts dealing with issues that make no sense to me. I realized today how impatient I can be with people who defend stupid. Why lie about something after the truth has been shown? Why would a child argue about staying away from strangers? Why would a spouse argue about something obviously good for a child? Today I realized one really good metaphor why....

In my experience it is an all too familiar (Ground Hog Day) situation that is baffling and so frustrating in my life that up until today there have not been words to describe it! And then today an answer came to my (and maybe others) prayers. 

Hypothetical situation, a dad sees a child up past a bedtime and says "Go to bed." This is like the child is driving a car and the dad says, "your car door is open, stop the car and let's do what's intelligent and close the door (go to bed)". 

But instead of pulling over and closing the door (going to bed), the child (or spouse, or friend) becomes short or defensive because what he might be hearing/thinking instead is, "You are saying that I am a terrible driver." (I'm little and have to go to bed like a small child) Which is NOT the message being delivered at all. 

And while the child gets/acts frustrated, the additionally frustrating part for the dad is that he hears the argument as, "the car door is not open." (I'm pushing against you and not going to bed) So dad goes further into explaining and maybe creating an argument that the open door needs to be shut (it's bed time). While the child goes deeper into, "I am not a terrible driver! (I'm not a baby) The dad hears over and over again my door isn't open! (I'm not going to) Then the child escalates into, "I'm not a terrible driver, you are a terrible driver." (You are the meanest dad, I hate you) Wow, talk about a loop that doesn't stop and just gets worse the longer it goes on...!!!

Sometimes we hear what we think about ourselves, not what is actually being said.

Why? Most of us defend ourselves somehow and in some way. No one is immune from self-doubts or insecurities.

This metaphor for me makes clear years and hours and hours of misunderstanding. I doubt it has anything to do with mars or venus or neptune or anything else that I haven't read. This is front room, on the couch, freedom setting truth.

A lesser example is when a person reaches and opens the door for a stranger and that person grabs the door with their hand instead of just walking in. The door holder thinks, "I will do something kind/respectful", The stranger may think, "I can do it by myself thank you", the door holder thinks, "this stranger is disrespecting the kind gift I'm offering!"

Maybe you are getting a car door response if it sounds something like:

• my food's not good enough
• you think that person is better than me
• I'm fat
• I'm ugly
• you can do it better than me
• you think you're better than me
• you're not perfect
• it's never enough no matter what I do
• always, every, never, all, every time...

As a man, I ask myself when do I do this and what is the solution? How do I avoid these insane no-win situations?

There are probably many solutions. One that comes to mind is to preface some of future car door moments with, "I'm not attacking you, it's about the [car door]." or "I'm only talking about the [car door], not you personally." 

While that seems petty and ridiculous, if it preserves someone's feelings who is insecure or sensitive or has difficulty hearing the message being sent, then why not stop and clarify the message being received?

My answer to why I may not stop and clarify? Because of my pride or I might forget to clarify first. So, in the world of seeking to improve, Here's to letting go and letting God create a wind strong enough to lift me back up to safe ground. I'm probably gonna need it.

i2i2blog@gmail.com

Being an Anvil

"I believe it was George MacDonald who observed that in the process of life, we are not always the already-tempered and helpful hammer which is shaping and pounding another. Sometimes we are merely the anvil."                                       - Neal A. Maxwell, Patience

I always enjoy the happiness and peace that comes from hammer type of activities like, teaching, sharing an insight or reaching out and giving help in some way - especially when it is well received... in fact being the hammer is usually fun. Like all things, being a good hammer has it's trials and moments like choosing and delivering consequences to my kids or dealing with issues at work. But if I hammer well (and work with my mentors/heroes), the result is we both become better.

On the other hand, I am realizing that I've never consistently been a good anvil. It's more common to move out of the way when another hammer (life, experience, God, another's agency) is about to swing and shape a friend, stranger or loved one's life. Instead of bracing myself and patiently enduring someone else's hammer blows, I instinctively want to move. Even with a high pain tolerance, there are times I'd simply rather avoid it. In hindsight, it's selfish and not an act of love to move. Unfortunately there are plenty of those moments.

With some people, like my friend with a severely handicapped daughter, or someone with a spouse or child with an addiction, significant pride, a lack of education, limited work ethic, or maybe one person doesn't care and the other cares a lot about something in a relationship then the blatant opportunity to be an anvil becomes an integral part of every day, or an angry frustrated and unhappy person.

Being a good anvil is not indifference. It's not medicating, eating, sleeping or finding a short cut out or way to escape. It's courageous and bold and teaches a deep and respectful love and empathy towards others. It's letting someone else's agency seemingly trump ours (put our will aside) and watching God triumph in that person's life instead of us... maybe because we got out of the way. Some say, let go and let God.

A man was in the mountains admiring the beauty of the world below him from the edge of a long cliff. A massive deer startled him and as he turned, a big wind blew and he slipped over the edge. A large root had grown out of the cliff wall that he grabbed as he fell. After calling for help several times, he heard his name.  "God is that you?" "Yes." "Help me", he said. God answered, "Do you believe I created all of the beautiful things you saw?" "Yes", said the man. "Do you believe I created the wind and deer?, asked God. "Yes", said the man. "Do you believe that I could create a wind strong enough to push you back up to the top of the cliff?" "Yes", said the man.  "Then let go." said God.

It's that hope and innate knowledge and instincts that spurs us on through our life's experiences that will teach us to be better anvils. It's possible that only by choosing to apply whatever degree of faith that we have and taking the blow, that we can find hope to be our best. 

One might say that a good anvil is often the quiet strength, the inner confidence and intentional faith that things will work out when getting angry or screaming in frustration or pain, or withdrawing appears to be so much easier, at least for the moment. It's speaking calmly or not at all when poor behavior is actually considered an option.

Frequently on any continent anyone in extreme pain looks heavenward and pleads with an unseen, but not unfelt divine and all powerful presence. God goes by many names in many places, but the people who speak in respect all carry common traits even though they live so differently, the first being He can help if we but ask. 

May we learn to be better anvils. To allow that person to cut in on the freeway, to empathize first before solving the problem, to look before leaping in and to be the very best we all can be by helping others be their best, so that when a bigger hammer comes to shape another's life, we will be prepared and unafraid to stand still and witness the miracle of seeing another's life improve, find peace, strength or comfort right before our eyes because we were prepared, because we were present and there.

i2i2blog@gmail.com